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How to drive a damsel to distraction...

Leave the newspaper open to an article about plastic surgery.

Never give her a straight answer.

Shrink her jeans and when she complains about gaining weight, smile sweetly and say that you prefer her with some meat on her bones.

Superglue the toilet seat in the up position.

Call her by your dog's name. . .then of course, deny it!

If you don't have a dog, call her by your mother's name. . .and of course deny it.

Buy her power tools for Valentine's Day, Birthday, and Christmas,

If you remember them.

Answer all her questions with a question,

preferably one on a totally different subject.
Answer every question with "Yes, dear."

Start a conversation with the dog -- in the middle of one with her.

Refuse to ask for directions even if you find yourself in Georgia when you were going to California.

Keep in mind guys

that PMS is now a legal defense in some states.


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