Golf carts always run out of juice at the farthest point from the clubhouse.
All 3-woods are demon-possessed.
A severe slice is a thing of awesome power and beauty.
"Nice lag" can usually be translated to "lousy putt." Similarly, "tough break" can usually be translated to "way to miss an easy one, sucker."
The person you would most hate to lose to will always be the the one who beats you.
The last three holes of a round will automatically adjust your score to what it really should be.
Golf should be given up at least twice per month.
All vows taken on a golf course shall be valid only until the sunset of the same day.
Life is like a game of golf: you drive hard to get to the green and then you end up in a hole.
Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
"How was he killed?" asked one detective.
"With a golf gun," the other detective replied.
"A golf gun?! What the heck is a golf gun?"
"I'm not for certain, but it sure made a hole in Juan!"