On a taxidermist's window, "We really know our stuff."
On a butcher's window, "Let me meat your needs."
At a car dealership, "The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment."
Outside a muffler shop, "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
At a dry cleaner's, "Drop your pants here."
In the front yard of a funeral home, "Drive carefully, we'll wait."
On an electrician's truck, "Let us remove your shorts."
In a nonsmoking area, "If we see you somking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
On a maternity room door, "Push! Push! Push!"
On a front door, "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian -- except the dog!"
At an optrometrist's office, "If you don't see what you are looking for, you've come to the right place."