Michael Jordan wishes he were a pro golfer.
Kids are never murdered over a pair of golf shoes.
Golfers are compensated in direct proportion to how well they play.
Golf is an honorable game played by an overwhelming majority of honorable people who don't need referees.
Pro golfers can answer a question without having to wait till they see the videotape.
Golfers don't claim that it takes exceptional intelligence to play their game well.
Pro golfers can't abuse alcohol and drugs and be successful.
You can hear birds chirping at a pro golf tournament. You hear a steady stream of four-letter words and nasty name calling in stadiums and arenas while you're hoping nobody spills beer on you.
The schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson...
"Is the word spelled p-u-t or p-u-t-t?" she asked her instructor.
"P-u-t-t is correct," he replied, and continued with a grin, "'Put' means to place a thing where you want it. 'Putt' means merely a vain attempt at the same."