After a worship service a mother with a fidgety 7-year old boy told me how she finally got him to sit still and be quiet. About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, "If you don't be quiet, Bro. Charlton is going to lose his place and have to start his sermon all over again!" It worked.
*From Bro. Dave Charlton, FBC, Newcastle, KY
A minister, having served the same church for many years, decided to leave and take a similar position in another church. Without telling anyone he had made this decision or writing a letter to the congregation, he waited until Sunday morning to announce his resignation in church. When he spoke to the congregation, he said, "The same Jesus that called me to this church many years ago has now called upon me to leave and serve another church." The choir all stood and sang, "What a Friend We Have in Jesus...."
Rev. Jones shocked the congregation when he announced his resignation from the church and planned move to Arizona. . . After the service a very distraught Mrs. Williams came to the pastor with tears in her eyes, "Oh, Pastor Bill, we are going to miss you so much. We don't want you to leave!" The kindhearted pastor patted her hand and said, "Now, now, Liz, don't carry on so. . .The pastor who takes my place might be even better than me." "Yeah", she cried, "That's what Paster Mike said when he left!"
A new young preacher was contacted by the local funeral director to hold a graveside service at a small country cemetery. There was to be no funeral service, just the burial, because the deceased had no family or friends left in town. The young pastor started early to the cemetery, but soon lost his way. After making several wrong turns, he finally arrived a half-hour late. The hearse was no where in sight, and the workmen were relaxing under a nearby tree, eating their lunch. The pastor went to the open grave and found that the vault lid was already in place. He took out his book and began reading. . . As he returned to his car, he overheard one of the workman say, "Come on Claude, let's tell him it's just a durn septic tank."